Hesitate

So I began applying for law school today. I filled out the general information section and then moved to the pick a law school and fill out the application part. I clicked on uk and it took me to another page that gave me a few options but the main one was click on the name of the school and the application comes up. I moved the arrow over the name and...... hesitated. I clicked, filled in the information, and moved the mouse to the submit/save option. I...... hesitated. It was just saving what I had done so I submitted and it saved. I now have to write up a personal statement about me as a person and the potential as a law student and lawyer I feel I have. When I get done with this I can send in the application and the other forms. I've had plenty of time to get it done today but I...... hesitate.
I found out my score a few days before Christmas. I came back to school late because of doctors but I was back on the 12th of January. It took me over a week to print out the recommendation forms to give to my advisors. I didn't do anything that week, it's been a laidback semester so far. I.. hesitated. One of my advisors mailed his letter for me. Three days later I mailed the letter from my other advisor that had been sitting in my car for a week. I..... hesitated.
I believe that people do acts because that's what they want to do. People don't do things they don't really want to do. If a person says they want to do act A instead of act B but then they do act B, they did it for a reason. That reason is because something made act B more desirable than act A, despite what that person said. This is why my hesitation has caused me to further hesitate.
I began a little introspective investigation to attempt to make sense of all of this. I decided if I knew better the meaning of hesitate I might be able to relate it to my actions better. I asked Webster to help me out. He said hesitate means, "to be reluctant or wait to act because of fear, indecision, or disinclination." Is that it? Am I afraid? If I am does that mean I'm making the wrong decision? The second definition is, "to doubt." I've always followed this feeling inside me when it comes to making decisions. I can't fully describe it. I don't act on a thought until "it" feels right. I think I've been waiting for "it" to feel right about this. It used to but somewhere along the line I lost "it". Which begs the question why? Is it fear and if it is of what? If it's doubt, what's the cause? I'm hesitating and I don't know why. And apparently, the answers are hesitating too.